High levels of stress are a significant trigger for conflict. Exercise can be a powerful tool to combat stress and help us to feel better about ourselves. Kris Massie of Chi PT helps people find new energy through exercise and nutrition.
Special Guest: Kris Massie, Chi PT
Last night my family celebrated Christmas in July at my house.
Christmas is a bit of a tricky time for my family - we have a lot of bad memories from when we were growing up and it has led to more than a few meltdowns on Christmas Day over the last 25 years.
But three years ago we started celebrating Christmas in July - which is all about wearing silly jumpers, the food and spending time together (no presents) and for some reason it works - no meltdowns. It's just a heap of fun.
So we started a new tradition. And as part of this tradition, my two youngest nieces stay the night at my place (one of them lives in Melbourne so the cousins are so excited to catch up) and we go out for ice cream for breakfast.
The ritual happened by accident.
Last year I took them to the park first thing because they were the first people awake, but it was too cold and it started to rain and so we went looking for something else to do. We ended up at the Parade, Norwood. Not much was open on a Sunday...
Brené Brown is right. Shame is one of the major reasons people get stuck.
So often I have leaders who have to point the finger at their team members for being bad, useless, lazy, dodgy etc. because they can’t or won’t look at how they might be contributing towards the performance of their team.
So they chastise, punish or blame their team for not doing what they want them to do, for gossiping, for creating silos.
These leaders do not have an awareness of how important their behaviour is in the workplace. They don’t recognise that they stress their team out when they are stressed; that they encourage the team to turn on each other when they start blaming members of the team for not getting it right.
And the reason they can’t look in and take responsibility for the performance of the team is usually shame. They are the boss, the leader. It is their role to get the team to perform, and they have failed. They are embarrassed...
I am not a fashionista. I am a jeans-and-hoodie type of girl.
I own about six pairs of shoes. Sandshoes, ugg boots, comfortable black boots, sensible flats and two pairs of sandals. I don’t understand people’s obsession with shoes. I don’t even like buying shoes.
My daughter, on the other hand, is shoe-obsessed. She has multiple pairs of sandals, heels and flats. Her shoes don’t fit into her cupboards.
I was at her place the other day, helping her sort out some furniture for her bedroom and said “why do you need so many shoes?” and she rolled her eyes at me. “Mum, you are so old!”
I grumbled and my brain went into grumpy mode whilst I looked at ways she could fit more things in her cupboards than out of her cupboards.
And then I remembered that this was her place, her clothes, her shoes. This had nothing to do with me.
Why do I care if she has a lot of shoes? Who am I to impose my...
I often get asked to come and help an organisation or business when they are going through a conflict crisis.
The wheels are falling off, and they ring me to help them get through the crisis.
After being briefed by the leader, the first thing I do is meet with all of the parties for a confidential venting session. This helps them to get clarity about the issues and to get some stuff off their chest.
One of the questions I always ask in these venting sessions is who is the boss? It sounds like a silly question. Surely the leader who engaged me is the boss - but the reality is that often a completely different person is deemed to be the boss of the office or workplace.
Sometimes two people are vying for the position of leader/boss.
What this tells me is:
I have been working out. I had a bit of a break from really working out over the last few months due to a mix of work and family commitments. But this is bad form for me and I realised that I had to get fit again - really fit.
So I started doing group exercise and really pushing myself.
Oh, the pain! I have had sore legs, arms, glutes, quads etc… You know you’re alive after you work out.
Working out is the process of working a muscle until it “tears” or “gets exhausted” and the muscle then needs to repair and then the muscle gets stronger.
You can’t truly fit without putting all of your muscles under stress. No pain, no gain.
The same is true of your conflict muscles.
Most of us are so conflict-averse that we avoid conflict like the plague. So what that means is that we tolerate behaviour that is rude or inappropriate; we say yes when we are thinking no; we are compliant so that we...
In our first episode, we introduce you to Kate Russell: Conflict Coach, facilitator, mediator, trainer, wife, mother and Port Adelaide fan. Kate helps leaders step into their power so that they can create conflict resilient teams; teams that thrive. Find out how and why Kate does what she does.
Special Guest: Chris Edgar, Red Dog Building & Renovation
I love people and I love their stories.
In my life, I have been blessed to have met or spoken with literally thousands of people. I have heard so many people’s stories. Stories of pain, joy, grief, humour and love.
I love talking to people and I have found people like talking to me. I have often thought that there is an invisible message on my forehead that says “tell Kate your story” because so many people have entrusted me with their incredible and sometimes intensely personal stories.
I am also interested in conflict. In how conflict presents itself in other people’s workplaces or lives. I am not just talking about workplace conflict; in fact, that is only one type of conflict. But so many industries and services organisations exist to help people manage their stress and deal with issues which in the long run reduce the incidences of conflict and pain in our world.
I want to talk about those conflicts more. I want...
So I am back on the exercise horse. I have been getting up at stupid o’clock every day and doing some exercise - a run (with a lot of walking thrown in) or I go to the gym and use the most boring piece of equipment ever invented (the treadmill - which truly was created as a torture machine).
I have generally just exercised on my own. Set my own pace, pushed myself but only as hard as I decided to go. I love being by myself. I love having some time in the morning to think, listen to podcasts and just prepare myself for the day.
But recently I joined a group, the Grand Challenge, where a number of us have all put in a $150 each to go towards a prize of $1000 which will go to the person who loses the greatest percentage of body weight over a 12 week period. We have also raised enough money that we have bought two memberships to a personal training program which we are sharing.
So I went out to the group personal training session on...
I am part of this networking group where we meet every Friday for breakfast. It’s a great group and I thoroughly enjoy going.
I don’t eat many carbs because I can put on weight just by looking at donut. So every Friday I have the same breakfast which includes cooked spinach.
Now I don’t know about you, but the older I have got the more food that gets stuck in my teeth. They are now a magnet for food; in particular cooked spinach.
These days I spend my life checking my teeth in a mirror or on my phone - so that I don’t embarrass myself in front of clients.
Last Friday, like nearly every Friday, I ate my spinach, talked to lots of people and had a great time. As I walked out the door one of my fellow networkers turned to me and said quietly, “you have a bit of food in your teeth”.
At that moment I realised that I had spent the last 30 minutes talking to a number of people with a great big piece of spinach on one of my front teeth. I was off...